Learning to love.

I have been married for ten years now to a truly amazing woman. I wish I was more eloquent to tell you of how amazing my wife is. No, she is not perfect, she is a redeemed sinner who is growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus like the rest of us. It seems to me though that when I see her, God seems to be working so much quicker in her life than mine!
     Being married for ten years now ( yeah, I know that many of you are thinking I am a rookie still ) I have found it easy to fall into a pattern of loving my wife. I can get into the routine of saying certain phrases, or doing certain things that at one time really held a special meaning for her and me. I know that my wife likes me to listen to her, or go shopping with her, or make dinner for her or with her. I tell her regularly that I love her, and I try to show her that through letting her sleep in while I watch the kiddos, or regular kisses, or going to work to provide like a good husband should.
     Even though I have done those things, my wife is wise. She knows if what I am doing comes from the heart or not. She is not interested in what I can achieve for her, as much as she is interested in my heart attitude towards her.
     She can see and sense things I cannot. It is then that she begins to ask certain questions that allow me to examine the motivations and passions of my heart, and she is usually right in her assessment of who I am.

I was recently reading Mark 12:29-31. In this passage Jesus reminds us of what the most important command is in all of scripture: To love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength.
God is not content with our little christian achievements, be it intellegence in doctrine, sacrifices we make, etc. What God really wants, and demands is a total relationship with him...one that is intimate, loving and passionate. A relationship where he is truly the center of all our thoughts, actions, and passions.

Just like my relationship with my wife, I have had to re-examine why I do what I do towards God. I think that much of what I have done is ritualistic and detached. There are so many things that have occupied my mind in recent months, and none of them have to do with a heart that is overflowing from a relationship with Jesus. I have been doing many things for Jesus, but not being with Jesus. I have achieved many things for Jesus, but have not been really loving Jesus. There has not been tenderness or intimacy in my prayers with him. My best thoughts of the day have nothing to do with him...but with what I can accomplish.

I am not sure how many of you find yourselves in the place that I am describing, but if you are, let me encourage you to do something; Go find a place to be alone...remind yourself of who you are talking to, remember what it cost to bring you to himself, and confess. Confess ( agree with God ) where you are at, and ask God to re-open your eyes to the wonder of who he is, and do the things you did at first that stoked the fires of your relationship with Jesus.

And for those of you who are married, it would not hurt to follow the same process with your loved one. It is amazing to me how fires get stoked when you think of them choosing to be with you, giving everything up to join you, and they now walk with you through your highs and lows...and still love you!

Marriage is an amazing thing.
Our salvation is even greater!

Love you all,
Sabo